The glutton strikes

It's freezing cold here at the moment. Maybe not quite as bad as it was in Beijing but it's biting. The main problem is the snow and ice though. Trying to walk along without slipping up and landing on your backside with people watching, then dealing with the embarrassment when you try to get up. People feigning concern but stifling a laugh.

It's not happened to me...yet. But that's what I can't stand about these conditions. The snow and ice is going to melt but the cold can just get relentless. That's what I hated when I lived in Beijing.

I went to the gym yesterday morning and my wife went to hers. She wanted to do a parkrun but they're all cancelled due to the weather. We caught up afterwards for brunch with her running friends which was great but the problem came when we were walking back towards the car. We just seemed to get to the car and we were stood around just chatting.

All four of us freezing to death but just chatting. Thankfully one of the group decided to invite us back to his place round the corner for coffee. Eventually, when we had finished up and got back to our place, we were just sitting around watching the next series and it's as though we just couldn't really get warm.

Feeling tired, lethargic and cold isn't a great combination. We decided to have lunch but still, it's like the body was craving calories to just get warm. Not only that, it's craving comfort.

This was the perfect opportunity for the glutton to strike. Inside of us there's so many different sub-personalities, so many different parts of ourselves which pull us in different directions. I've spent years battling my inner glutton.

That greedy bastard that just wants to gorge and sit on the sofa all day everyday. He's not wanting to hold you back from your goals or anything, he just seems to want comfort, food and pleasure. He's an overgrown kid. Spoilt rotten, cries like a baby in the night, non-stop until he gets his own way. He needs to be trained. He needs to be shown what is right and what is wrong. It's not going to happen in a day or a week, but over time. He needs to be trained.

I've trained him, but he's still being the spoilt little shit, moaning, whingeing and pissing people off with his slovenly ways. He needs tightening up and bringing into line. It's one thing wanting to indulge a little but this one doesn't have any sort of regard for anyone or anything.

Well...he seized the opportunity to strike yesterday. One chocolate from a box of celebrations became another, and another. Then a small piece of cheese, and a couple of slices of ham with a slice (not a piece) of cheese. Then a chocolate biscuit, and some stale biscotti leftover from Christmas, complete with the staple from the packaging which I knew I'd managed to drop in there when I opened the pack at the start of Christmas but hadn't found till now. Then the few chocolate buttons at the cinema in the evening from my wife. Then another chocolate biscuit and mini-galaxy when we got back.

I managed to resist the hula hoops though. Now this wasn't a particularly bad episode. There's been worse. It's easy to get down about it but the idea is to train the glutton. Look deeper into his existence and train him.

A lot of that was about comfort on a cold day. I could have just had a shower to help me warm up. I could have used the 5 minute rule i.e think of what I want and say to myself if I want it I can have it in 5 minutes. I had already deployed the identify the emotion strategy. I recognised I was looking for some comfort on a cold day. I just hadn't done anything about it.

It's a process though. It's training. It's experience. I'll be more prepared for the next strike, and reduce the frequency of the strikes, until he's just satisfied with a salad or nothing at all.